I'm ok sitting with you, both you and your emotions

It continues to confuse me that the very church and community from which I learned many truths and practices that have helped me love Jesus and others better could also be the place of such harm and darkness. 

One example of a really helpful lesson I learned from my small group elder a few years back: being ok with sitting with others and their emotions.  I met with him about every quarter to check in for our small group since he was the pastor overseeing the small group that I helped co-lead.  Over the years, he helped us process a number of things and gave helpful suggestions for moving forward.  Every time we met I came away encouraged and hopeful for next steps for our group.   

One time I mentioned that I was feeling discouraged and disappointed by something that had happened in the small group.  I said something like, "well I'm probably overreacting, but I still feel strong emotions about this thing even though it happened months ago..."  and he said something that I still remember today.  Instead of standing against my emotions and allowing me to beat myself up for them, he made space for them by saying "if a small rock falls in a pond, it makes a small splash, but if a big rock falls in a pond, it makes a big one.  Your emotions are telling you that it was a big rock, and it made a big splash."  This really helped me.  It communicated to me that my emotions were ok to have, and that he wasn't afraid of them, he was willing to sit with me, both me and my emotions.  And in a gentle way, it also conveyed to me that I didn't need to be afraid of my emotions either.  I could sit with them, listen to them, and process them.  I don't remember what else we discussed, but I remember that remark to this day.  He made space for my emotions by validating, listening, and being unthreatened by them. 

That pastor was a gift to our small group, and I was sad that he moved on a few years ago (though also glad for his sake, given all that has happened).  One consequence of all the heartache is it makes me wonder how much did he feel pushed away by a toxic system and how much was he pulled towards a really good fit for his skills (which it is).  Did he see all these problems already and want to get out before things blew up?  Or would he be as much part of the problem too?  I'd like to believe he'd be on side of wanting to build bridges and bring things to the light so they could be owned and healed if he were still at BBC.  Unfortunately, being let down by others for whom I had the same hope makes it harder to assume the best about anyone associated with BBC.  

Thankful for God, who knows all things in our hearts and yet still receives, welcomes, loves, and embraces.