Mickey and I have been reflecting a lot on the problem of silence from church leaders. I've come to realize that although silence is harder to spot than egregious words or actions, in many ways it can be just as problematic.
It's relatively easy to point to egregious words and actions. I can read a problematic email. I can hear the inappropriate things said at a meeting. I can be troubled by the actions of a dominant personality. And I can tell others about these words and actions.
What is harder to notice is silence. The pastors we've had a good relationship with who never reached out after we sent our letter. The elders who never replied to emails from congregants raising concerns. The elders who didn't speak up when they heard other elders speaking untruths at the 7/11 Q&A. The supervisor who could have intervened to defend a staff member who was appealing for help, but didn't. The coworkers who could have reached out to a hurting friend, but didn't.
The silence is often invisible, especially to bystanders. But silence is harmful because it props up the system. It lets the loud, dominant voices win. It enables the half-truths to go uncorrected. And it can be crushing to the person appealing for help. At some point silence starts to become complicity. These silent leaders may not have said anything, but by their silence they are tacitly endorsing what is happening.
I'm trying to learn to notice the silence. To hear what is not being apologized for. To notice who is not speaking up. To observe what problems are not being addressed. To notice what information is not being shared at a church meeting.
I would love for leaders at Bethlehem who have been silent to speak up. To use their power and influence for good. To defend the weak and the vulnerable. To push for healthy changes.
And I want to grow in the same way myself. Where am I being silent? And where should I be speaking up?
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