Thoughts on Powerlessness

Mickey and I have experienced a range of emotions these last 6 months.  Anger.  Grief.  Hopelessness.  Betrayal.  Despair.  One of the hardest emotions for me to handle has been the feeling of powerlessness.  I am powerless to stop the harm at Bethlehem.  I am powerless to heal people's wounds.  I am powerless to make people look at evidence.  I am powerless to persuade people that there is a problem. 

Ways I'm Coping

It's been a painful season. Here are some things that are helping me through it.

1. Psalms 

There's Just One Bucket

I had a helpful conversation with a friend who connected two things I had thought were totally separate.  As Mickey and I have waded through all the issues at Bethlehem, I've been trying hard to keep 2 groups of issues separate.  I've mentally sorted them into 2 buckets, which I'll call "culture wars" and "problematic behavior."  The culture wars bucket includes things like people's views on gender and race, who they voted for, views on Covid, etc.  The problematic behavior bucket includes things like misuse of power, misuse of authority, domineering, cover-up, and deception.

An attempted apology about BBC's NDA lie

In a surprising turn, the two separate posts I made recently have intersected.  I had posted about Ken Currie's lies about there being not even a mention of NDAs at Bethlehem.  I had also posted some reflections about harm, apologies, and forgiveness.  

In response to Janette Takata's initial post about Ken Currie's lie, he emailed her an apology.  You can see on the link her rationale for posting it, as well as get a sense of Steve's reception of the apology with his answer.  Below is Ken's apology with some of my own reflections: 

NDAs at Bethlehem

*NDA - Non-Disclosure/Disparagement Agreement, used in some contexts to silence unhappy employees by promising severance in exchange for silence, an extremely harmful practice.  

When we sat down with two elders to discuss our letter prior to making it public (we had sent it to the elders 6 weeks before we went public with it), one of them observed that it appeared that we were claiming that since what we saw was so concerning, it must have meant there was worse elsewhere.  We said that yes, that was one of our fears - it felt like the church was this dark room and we were trying to shine our flashlight on something we saw was concerning and were pleading for them to "turn on the lights" (have an outside investigation).  That elder reassured us that there wasn't worse on other walls (to take the dark room analogy), implying even though things looked concerning, things were fine.  

"But I Know This Person"

An elder said something at one of the smaller Bethlehem Q&As last summer, and we've been reflecting on it.  At the start of the meeting the elders shared a few prepared statements in order to clarify some things from the 7/11 Q&A that appeared concerning.  Afterward, someone approached Elder X and said something like, "I heard the statement, but what really happened there [on 7/11] was he lied.  He lied."  Elder X reassured her (as best we can remember), "I know Elder Y.  If he thought that he had lied, he would repent for it."

Harm, apologies, and forgiveness

This post is prompted by the interactions recounted by the Julie Roys podcast What Happened at Bethlehem Baptist Church (Part 2) as well as Julie Roys' Opinion: Bethlehem Baptist, Apologies and “Unintentional Sin”.  Of particular note is the linked transcript of Dr. Naselli's apology to the Takatas in the opinion piece.  Excerpts from the apology are played in the podcast so you can get a sense of Dr. Naselli's intonation and context.  Frankly, I found his apology frustrating and disappointing, very much not in keeping with what I would expect out of an apology from a professor at seminary and an elder of Bethlehem.  Unfortunately, this type of non-apology has sadly become commonplace at Bethlehem.  I could name multiple examples I've seen from the past year.  For another public one, see Pastor Kenny's "apology" to Julie Roys.  

Reflections on Where the Light Fell by Yancey

I recently read a book that I really appreciated, Where the Light Fell: A Memoir by Philip Yancey.  It is a recounting of his experience growing up in a fundamentalist upbringing, raised by a single mom (pastor husband died when Yancey was 1), who swore that her children would become missionaries (that was a very damaging promise).  She dedicated her life to ministry, teaching the Bible, raising her children, protecting them from temptations and the dangers in the culture, all the while seeing/feeling the increasing distance and hostility from her sons towards God while she tries to control them.  It feels similar to the stories of Educated by Tara Westover or Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance, except it's a picture from a fundamentalist upbringing and the hope at the end is God and grace.  

Reflections on: Reparations by Duke L. Kwon and Gregory Thompson

I probably should have written this earlier, back before I had to return my copy of the book to the library system, but alas.  Some reflections based off of my memory on Reparations: A Christian Call for Repentance and Repair by Duke Kwon and Gregory Thompson.  

When Silence Harms

Mickey and I have been reflecting a lot on the problem of silence from church leaders.  I've come to realize that although silence is harder to spot than egregious words or actions, in many ways it can be just as problematic.

It's relatively easy to point to egregious words and actions.  I can read a problematic email.  I can hear the inappropriate things said at a meeting.  I can be troubled by the actions of a dominant personality.  And I can tell others about these words and actions.

Thoughts on "What Happened at Bethlehem Baptist Church, Part 2"

The second half of the podcast by Julie Roys: "What Happened at Bethlehem Baptist Church, Part 2".  Various reflections on not only the podcast itself, but also the primary source documents that are linked at the bottom.  

Our favorite books from 2021

Becoming Elisabeth Elliot by Ellen Vaughn (H) 

When Someone Leaves Your Church, Take Time to Listen to Them

In Spring 2021, I was at a playdate with a friend, and in the course of our conversation, she told me that she was leaving Bethlehem because bad things were happening.  I didn't respond well.  I didn't say, "Tell me more."  I didn't ask a single follow-up question.  Instead, I said, "Oh."  And I changed the subject.

Reflections on "What Happened at Bethlehem Baptist Church? Part 1"

Julie Roys posted a podcast: part 1 of an interview with Janette and Steve Takata about their experience at Bethlehem.  

Prior to sending our our letter, Hannah and I were only vaguely aware of the stuff that had happened with the Takatas.  Hannah was at the members meeting in January where they brought their motions.  She saw how Andy dramatically escalated the stakes with his threat to resign.  We also saw the emails sent out by Andy Naselli and the other elders following up, but we didn't really know any of what had happened behind the scenes.  As we wrote our letter, we didn't lean on the Takatas as a primary source, though Daniel was more familiar with their story and filled in a little bit of backstory, so glimpses of how they were treated showed up in our letter.  

I'm ok sitting with you, both you and your emotions

It continues to confuse me that the very church and community from which I learned many truths and practices that have helped me love Jesus and others better could also be the place of such harm and darkness. 

BCS and narrowing orthodoxy

Some reflections prompted by a twitter thread.  It is an email from a prospective student recounting his interview for seminary with Andy Naselli, where Naselli asked him a number of questions about hot button culture war topics (Critical Race Theory, Jesus and John Wayne, Complementarianism) because (according to Naselli) the church and school have decided the Elder Affirmation of Faith isn't enough and they want to filter out broad evangelicals.    

What do I mean by an "investigation"?

Someone commenting on a facebook post asked the following, which I really appreciated. My response is below it. Others also chimed in disagreeing that all the relevant information was actually known by the congregation, but my response focused on the nature of an investigation. 

1 month retrospective to our open letter

After three public meetings downtown and receiving some emails from the elders, we wrote a 1 month retrospective in response to our open letter, summarizing how the elders have responded and highlighting some statements/emails we've received that have sharpened our concerns. 

1 month retrospective

Julie Roys picked up the story and brought in three people familiar with the dynamics of spiritual abuse who helped confirm for us that yes, we weren't being crazy.  We really appreciated that.  

Open Letter to the Elders of Bethlehem Baptist Church

Hannah and I have become very concerned about what has happened at Bethlehem Baptist Church. We've called Bethlehem home for many years, and we care about this church. We believe the problems at our church go far deeper than the elders are willing to admit or address. We've written a letter to the elders detailing our concerns and asking for a third party independent investigation. We are the latest in a long line of people who have pleaded with the elders to address these concerns. We believe that only with an honest look at the past can the church move forward in a healthy direction. We are now posting our letter publicly (linked below) for 3 reasons: 1) To get things in the light, 2) To stand with those who have been hurt, and 3) To convince the people of Bethlehem (congregation and elders) of the need for an independent investigation. Please read and share. 

Open Letter

(edit: and a follow-up detailing how the elders have responded)